Worst phone call of my life this far...

Okay so maybe it wasn't the worst phone call ever but pretty close. See I am not an out spoken put me in the spot light kind of gal. Actually being in the spot light is kinda terrifying. Soooo what was this phone call all about? I was asked to speak in sacrament meeting THIS Sunday. I know you are thinking really that was it? All this drama for that? YES!! This is terrifying for me. I would rather have to go to the dentist everyday (and I hate going to the dentist.) I kept thinking of things I could say to justify not speaking and they all sounded so ridiculous. So I had to say yes. Some of you were born speakers, you love to get up in front of people and you are good at it... it is called a gift. I did not acquire that gift. Just teaching my primary class makes me a nervous wreck. I only have a couple days to get this talk written. Not fun lets just get this over with and pray next time I am asked to speak I am out of town indefinitely.

ps... i have the best husband ever. he is going to speak instead. i love that man. he is so awesomely good to me! (9:42pm)

pss... Paul gave a really nice talk today! Someone told him it was down to earth. :) He was like well, that is all I know. I was only able to hear bits and pieces. Turns out when you are the lone Ref it is much harder to keep 6 kids quiet. :) So I am sure I missed a bit but I was trying really hard to listen in spite of all the shhh be quiets, sit downs, the coloring assignments of my (almost)4 year old, and the baby bonking his head on the wood part of the bench (twice). We survived though!

Painting and Boogers

It is almost midnight. Paul and I (okay mostly Paul) painted the boys room it was a mess. Boys are very hard on things. It was gross in there (um, yah boogers on the wall, gag). We still have to get all their stuff put back where it belongs but at least the walls look good. Last weekend Paul painted the kids bathroom and the half bath. One is yellow the other is blue. They both turned out waaay brighter than what I thought but I think I can tone it down by adding in some softer colors. It feels so good to get that done but now I have to put the finishing touches on. Paul is sitting next to me working on our lesson for tomorrow. It is really my turn to teach but he is better at it than me. I am just rambling now I guess it is time to go to bed. Night!

Day 2

Today hasn't been so bad. I was able to get up out of bed a lot earlier than yesterday which means I could start my work out earlier too. I did more weights -upper body today and then took E for a walk (little guy won't sleep past 6am unless he is in bed with me) I think we walked around 2 miles. I really wanted to run but I am a wuss still so I have to work up to running out side. (I can jog/run on my treadmill). This is the part of the plan you have to improvise and the part I was talking about yesterday that is hard to keep up. You can't just stay home all day so you can eat perfectly. P took the day off so we were out running errands which means we were not home to eat lunch. I think we made a decently healthy choice -Chipotle. I ate less than half of what I got. So hopefully it doesn't keep me away from my goal. I had a horrible head ache yesterday but not so much today. Anyways... it is about the journey not the destination right?

We had J Blue and Gold banquet for scouts tonight. I did good for dinner but then the deserts came out. J and I made some homemade Oreo's and then someone made cake. It was lemony raspberry goodness. I was going to avoid deserts all together but my sweet K let me have one bite of his cake and then I just had to have my own. What is with me why can't I just have one bite and not have to have more? I guess it just takes time. At least I didn't sample everything. I normally would have wanted to and probably would have so at least I didn't do that not that I am justifying it or anything. Time for prayer and to put kids to bed YIPEE!

Day 1

Today I finally decided to do something about my big a%@! I took a good look at myself this weekend and I not only wanted to puke but I also wanted to cry. How could I be such an idiot and let myself get to this point? It's not like I don't have every diet book ever written! I seriously do wish I was joking there. People I have back fat and not just a little! And then when I came downstairs to whine about it to my DH he said well did you work out this week? Shasta!! No I didn't! So how can I complain if I am not at least trying? So this morning I did my resistance (weights) and then got 2 miles in on the treadmill. I have watched every little thing I have put into my mouth. I honestly don't know how I will keep this up but I have to!! I am already slightly frustrated and it has only been one day. I feel like I have spent my day planning the next meal, drinking H20 and sitting on the toilet (what goes in must come out). :) The plan I chose to mostly follow has me eating every 2-3 hours. That is a lot of time spent on preparing food and eating. Why in the hell could I not be one of those people who just eats to live instead of the other way around. This is going to be such a long process. . . .

Running.....

I was doing so great until I got out of my routine and I just can't seem to get back to running. The treadmill stares at me every morning and ya know what I walk right by and stick my tongue out at it. Okay not really because then I would feel stupid but I do it in my mind though. I have how ever been able to take the kids for a walk almost every day this week. Which has been so therapeutic for all of us. To be able to get fresh air is so amazing! I love it. One day we got back right before a major down pour of rain! Phew! It is going to be such a long road to get my pre baby body back (literally I will probably have to wait for the resurrection for that one) but I can keep on trying to get there can't I? It sure doesn't help when Girl Scout cookies are calling my name. At least they are only around once a year and I have been really good this year I only bought two boxes TOTAL and have even shared them. Normally I would have at least kept one box for myself! :) One more thing I recommend you all read "I hate it when Exercise is the answer" by Emily Watts. It has really helped me this last week to be nicer to myself.

Have A Happy Weekend!

Pic of A when she was about one. Sooo cute!

Happy First Birthday!

Happy Birthday little man! We all love you so much! Our lives would not be the same without you. It's hard to believe a year as gone by already. Weren't you just born yesterday? You are quite the little guy these days. So curious and interested in everything (but your toys, of course). Just this week you decided you no longer needed to be fed and that you could do it all by yourself. You are taking steps... but not cruising on your own. You love to feel included. If we laugh at something funny you will laugh, too. You do not like "strangers" and shy away by leaning your head into our shoulder. You cry if someone looks at or talks to you that you are unsure of. You love the remote. You still wake up at night not because you are hungry rather you want to know we are there. You climb the stairs, wave bye bye, & blow kisses. We couldn't be happier to have you in our family! Happy First Birthday!

B is for Baby Boys